{the birth notes} stage 1

 it was a few days after Monte's birth and JR had just made a coffee for two visiting female family members when one made the comment, You're lucky to birth the way you do.

third day blues or not, i wanted to hurl my freshly made flat white at the said family member!

luck? luck!!

'luck' is the very last thing that has to do with childbirth. i could (would) never risk so much on luck!

instead, this is a little more accurate :


pre-labour preparation:

[education]

be aware! i don't want to be a stupid pregnant girl. (brilliant article, read it - but not the comments beneath, it's where the still-stupid ones hang out.) because we have our babies at home, it's extremely important i am aware of the physical, emotional and psychological influences on the process of childbirth. 

also, having a general awareness of potential complications and ways to prevent and/or manage them is necessary. i can't make clear decisions while my brain is in my uterus so i need to be educated beforehand.

[mental preparation]

i am firmly convinced that birth is 90% mental (...the other 10% is pushing the blighter out!) 

work WITH my body - i make sure i'm really aware of what happens to my body during labour: what is a contraction? what happens during a contraction? (muscles/cervix) what is the purpose of a contraction? (dilation) what can i do to make a contraction more effective and therefore shorten labour?

redefine pain - with Danny (#4) i mentally refused to define the contractions as 'painful' - instead, with each contraction i allowed myself to really, actually feel it. and even tried to describe it to myself. so long as i concentrated on how it felt, it never became painful or overwhelming. powerful and intense, absolutely! but i never once had that desperate urge to climb up and out of my body to escape the force of it. as a result of accepting the sensation instead of resisting it, my labour with Danny was much shorter than usual.

eliminate fear - this begins with educating myself, and is aided by 'knowing what to expect' that comes with experience. fear produces tension which is counter-productive to contractions, and so causes pain.  so, any fear must be immediately acknowledged and dealt with.

[environment] 

i'm like a cat when i birth - i need a safe, dark, private nest to have my babies. some mothers are engergised by a lot of people around, i'm not. i need to be able to focus on doing my job well and concentrate. i have to feel very emotionally safe with the people who are present and trust them completely.i adore my midwives - they have become dear, precious friends.

practical strategies during labour:
[early labour]
lots of figure-8s with my hips to get that baby's head down nice and firm against the cervix to aid dilation.
[active labour]
mental focus. sounds weird but squeezing/rubbing my thighs really hard helps release some of the huge amounts of energy being produced by labour. 
warm water has always been my only analgesic but i am careful to not hop in the pool too early. {during my labour with Monte (#3) i knew i'd hopped in the pool too early but it felt so good that i was very tempted to stay there even though i knew it'd drag the labour out. i tossed it up and ended up telling myself to dig deep, do some hard work for 45 minutes and then i could get back into the pool for the duration of the birth. it worked, after 45 minutes i was much more established and the water was a relief without stalling the action!}
[transition]
i find it funny that i have never recognised transition as being transition. i usually come out of my intensely focused state and get restless - and irritated that i've lost my groove and am restless! i find it hard to integrate the contractions or find a comfy position. i'm hoping that this time i'll actually realise what's going on and accept it as a brief, but uncomfortable phase and use the time to prepare myself to begin pushing. (and get excited about meeting our baby really soon. hurrah!)

some like to have mantras or affirmations during labour, but i prefer Bible verses - here are some firm faves for before and during labour:
Isaiah 40:29
Isaiah 41:10
Isaiah 41:13
Isaiah 43:2
1 John 4:18

we are very grateful for the precious birth day memories we have so far, and really hope that it has come down to a lot of Grace, and a whole lot less Luck.

...

i have left comments disabled - i don't want to justify our choices to you or want you to feel like you need to justify your choices to me - BUT if you do have a genuine question i'd love to hear from you.

~Dee