baby #5: Q & A

{was this baby planned?}
yes, and no. as soon as Danny was born, i felt there was still one more in our family. i tried hard to convince myself that we were done, but knew in my heart of hearts that we weren't.
i knew that if i followed my head over my heart i'd always bbe sorry and regretful.
however, we didn't try for this baby, so in a way it was a surprise. the reality of 5 kids is a lot more shocking than the dream of 5 kids...so this was the first time i actually cried (in the BAD way!) when i saw the positive. (sorry baby...you are so wanted and loved but you just surprised your mama initially!)

{how many children do you want?}
i was worried that i would never feel "done" with having kids. that maybe i had some psychological addiction to the feeling of being "needed" that a newborn provides or something..!
but i definitely feel done this time. phew,phew,phew!!
{don't you have TV?}
we have a television, but no reception. ollllld joke. move on...

{how can you afford to have 5 kids?}
i've noticed this is a common reason given for not having more children. it's legitimate i guess, but part of me thinks it's just buying into a society that is obsessed with consumerism and over-indulgence. both our parents were single-income families with 4 children. we never had extra, and sometimes had barely enough, but security, acceptance and love have the potential to raise just as spectacular adults as gymnastics lessons and private maths tutoring, don't you think?
we are a single income family on a VERY modest wage. due to exchange rates and choices we made in early marriage we are fortunate to have a lovely home with space for chickens and vege gardens. we don't spend a lot of time running to and from activities for the kids. this may change as they get older, but for the moment their life experience mostly occurs in and/or around the home. (don't underestimate what skills and character can develop at home: exploring; co-existing with siblings; building; balancing; creating; communicating; sharing; climbing; planting; pruning; growing... but this is really a different post altogether isn't it)

{will you still homeschool?}
that is always decided on a year by year basis, but at this stage yes, of course.

{will you homebirth again?}
unless there is legimate reason not to, absolutely!! i love how our children have been welcomed into the world by their siblings in their home. it is my most favourite experience in the world.

{do you have strong enough stomach muscles to support a growing baby for the fifth time?}
ok, so this is a question i asked myself...and the answer? no. (YIKES!) which is probably why i look about 8 months pregnant already. uh huh. i also left my pelvic floor muscles somewhere in my twenties. thankfully there are a plethora of elastic-y garments that improvise for muscle failure these days ;)

{will you find out what you're having?}
no way. absolutely not. i am entirely addicted to the excitement of not knowing. it beats a million christmas eves.
and besides, i can't be disappointed with another boy when there is a soft boy neck to sniff and an actual boy baby nursing in my arms, but i could be disappointed with a black n white scan image on my fridge of a boy i haven't met.
which leads me to the next question...

{are you hoping for a girl?}
yes. and no. Jada is desperate for a sister, and I'd love for her to have that experience (i have 2 wonderful sisters) BUT i realise they'd be eight years apart AND to have a girl as youngest...woah, can you imagine how much potential for Spoilt Brat there'd be??!!!
and to be honest, God knows what our family needs better than i do. and at any rate, i'm grateful to be providing society with a few men who have grown up with a wonderful father present.

{are you crazy?}
possibly. but without regret (so far!)

X